Life Lesson #4 - Feed Your Soul

Dec 29, 2024

To soar in a society that feeds on superficial food is no easy task. The common good takes a backseat to greed with a side of grievance. Violence and hate fail to abate. Then a pandemic hits and the need for meaning grows ever louder. How to find your way amid such stress? How to do your thing amid such strain?

Core to our being is seeing with all of our senses. The Fire Within is not visible to the naked eye. We are not the flesh and blood we wear outside. Our supernatural magic exists in another realm. When it’s fed, we feel whole. But we rarely notice such moments. Slow down. Breathe. Reduce your speed! Connect with the part of yourself that operates behind the scenes.

True North is found using a compass only your soul can see. Walk barefoot in silence. Twirl in the pouring rain. Play with childlike glee. Surrender to a long embrace. Be less than perfect. Ask for help. Lend a hand. Chase a dream. Do your thing. But realize … True North rarely screams. It’s just something you know when the pace is slow.

Rush less.
Hear more.

Upon Googling “ikigai,” you will be inundated with a popular Venn diagram that ignores the ancient word's true meaning. The framework transforms a thousand-year-old Japanese life philosophy into a prosperity hack. Why feed on hollow calories? I’m all for prosperity! Hacking a culture's life philosophy, not so much. Master Yoda offers us insight into the nature of ikigai in Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back.

“Luminous beings are we,
not this crude matter.”

The age-old Japanese concept of ikigai refers to a person’s reason for being. Words that matter. Art that moves people. Experiences that awaken and empower creative minds. All anchor my ikigai, or my reason for being. What brings tremendous meaning to your life? That’s the question to ask yourself.

Many years ago, my hair stylist at the time recommended highlights. I had never color-treated my hair, so why not? It went terribly wrong! I ended up looking like Billy Idol with my hair bleached white. Which, if you're a rockstar, totally makes sense. I was a brand and management consultant! There's a plot twist. The next day, I had to jump on a plane to do a speaking gig for hundreds of people. Good times!

As a road warrior back in the day, I got free upgrades to First Class. Sitting next to me was a soft-spoken guy wearing a three-piece suit. I was the polar opposite. My white hair, baseball hat, and blue jeans gave me a boy band vibe … at age forty! We struck up a conversation. Would he ask for my autograph? What if he asked me to sing? I can’t sing!

After some chit-chat, I discovered my travel companion was a senior VP with a well-known international brand. On his business card was his full Japanese name. “You can call me Frank,” he reassured. It's a standard business practice to make conversations easier for Westerners. We talked non-stop during our three-hour flight. Long story short, we became penpals for several years.

One of my favorite emails from Frank was about his family's rice farm that went back generations. He loved bringing in the harvest with his son each year, as was tradition. That would happen soon, he wrote. The image of father and son working rice paddies, as had been done for hundreds of years, was touching. Humbling.

Frank rushed less and heard more in life. Frank honored his ikigai. Rushing less (in this context) has nothing to do with reducing your workload. It has to do with being fully present. A soul-led life is a fully present life.

Ignore the distractions.
Cherish the journey.

Consciousness is the state of being aware, especially of something within oneself. Today, I ordered my usual dark roast with oat milk and Stevia. My gas gauge blinked amber when I turned the key. The nectar of the gods awaits! Seriously?! Do I get gas first, only to suffer a lukewarm cup of joe? Or do I go for broke, grab the coffee, and then get gas?

Every ounce of my being wanted to throw caution to the wind. I need dark Java now! But then my "something within oneself" voice offered a word of caution. "You know how this will end, Bobby? Hot coffee and no gas!”

Temptation has your number.
Don’t take the call!

Our creative minds can be challenging. On the one hand, they help us do kick-ass things. On the other hand, as stated throughout this series, they can burn your damn house down! How to play nice with a fire-breathing dragon? We’re back to dragon wrangling! It never stops.

Oneness / No matter how dark the darkness or insane the insanity, being at one with yourself offers peace and gives relief. A greater purpose is revealed. There is more to your story than meets the eye! How do you experience a deep sense of wholeness in your life? Meditation. Prayer. Yoga. A long walk in nature. What meaningfully anchors your daily existence?

Oneness creates a calm resolve. It allows us to do more than merely survive. Find comfort in your humanity. You are a child of the Universe, God, or whatever higher power works. Claiming your spiritual place in the Universe is a divine act.

Presence / How do you know your heart, body, and mind are fully present? How do you know your numbed out, rushed, and disconnected? What helps you stay in the moment? What takes you out of the moment? Life is unfolding even as you read these words. Be aware of the world around you. Connect with the moments! Actively listen during each conversation. Build your empathy muscles. Let life wash over you one precious second at a time.

When we live in the now, little gets past us. Each drop of existence, good or bad, offers value. To be fully aware is to be fully alive. Immerse yourself in the present tense. Live in your body. Be fully present. Live in the now.

Sustenance / How do you renew your physical being? How do you awaken your spirit? What gives you energy? When we are rested, well-fed, and on fire, we experience a level of vitality that is unstoppable. Rituals that nourish, awaken, and energize bring you into alignment. Life is good because it feels good. It’s tangible. Real. Transformative.

I drink lots of water. Small dinner parties forge a sense of belonging. Clean food gives me energy. Daydreams take me away to magical worlds. Music, silence, and crazy cold air set the stage for my meditations and sleep. These routines keep me whole. Know your hunger! Get fed in ways that work for you.

Sustain The Connection / Staying soulfully centered is the counterbalance to losing our way. It's a dependable guardian if we heed its counsel. Regardless of where you are on your journey, the three disciplines keep you on solid ground. That said, developing these habits is a process. Sustaining peace of mind comes with a price tag. Do the work. Pay the price.

While revisiting this chapter for editing, the last month has been brutal. Honestly, I am exhausted beyond measure. In a few weeks, I will launch Bobby Ford Studios. After a few days of much-needed rest, it will be time to return to the rituals that keep me whole. Everyone gets lost, yet, our path remains. Return to the path.

A lone finger probes the sky. Where might thy wind blow? Driven by forces, I don’t entirely understand. Born from a place true to my soul. I sail on the dice of chance to explore the possibilities of the unknown. The wind that fills my sails blows True North. Still, on occasion, with no breeze, I find myself all alone on wide open seas.

Feelings like self-doubt, insecurity, and fear (just to mention a few) keep us from unpacking our potential. If we don't face these wind killers head-on, they flourish unabated. When toxic emotions get the best of us, our deepest yearnings hang in the balance.

In my early twenties, during a tough period, a psychologist told me I had a pronounced gift for helping people. Helping people? Me? While I had great respect for the man, there was no way in hell I could ever help folks! He saw The Fire Within two decades before I finally claimed the mantle.

Numbing out has long been a lethal wind killer. If you find yourself stoned, drunk, or otherwise impaired on a daily basis, there's a chance you're getting lit up to tune out. Anything we do in excess, booze, drugs, sex, you name it, can be used to avoid the realities of life. We all need to escape, but absent moderation, the wind disappears. All that remains is going through the motions. My Achilles heel is I’m a workaholic. When in a good place, it's far less of an issue. Even so, I have to remain ever vigilant.

Numb out less.
Protect the wind.

Self-sabotage is a trickier wind killer because it involves behaviors we don't immediately view as problematic. I wrote a story about trying to fuck my way to never-ending bliss and confidence. The painful price was never becoming a dad. Add to that my confession of being a workaholic. Self-sabotage! And yet, sex and success are two of the most heavily marketed themes in the Western world. The internal battle rages on.

Another form of self-sabotage is inventing obstacles to stay safe, which keeps us stuck. This behavior can be impossible to spot because we’re too busy blaming the world for our problems. The antagonist is never the person in the mirror. It’s a heartbreaking cycle that crushes our potential.

Over the years, I have met people whose impact could be beyond their wildest dreams. It’s always humbling to stand in their presence. Sadly, in their mind, life is against them. Everything has to be put on hold until the magical world of "one day" appears. The hard cold truth is that “one day” never arrives because it’s an avoidance mechanism.

Avoid less.
Protect the wind.

My mom was fifty-three when she was diagnosed with Stage 4 lung cancer. I was just beginning to rise above my childhood trauma when the diagnosis blew me out of the water. Everything came to an abrupt halt. I was twenty-seven years old.

On one side was the woman who was sober by day and kind to everyone she met. On the other was the low bottom alcoholic who believed people with specific license plate numbers were out to get her. It’s called wet brain, and it’s a nightmare to navigate. Then there was the role she played in my nightmare childhood. How to reconcile the balance sheet?

After her diagnosis, I sat near her bed as she slept. Watching her chest rise and fall was reassuring, yet wrought with despair. The gift of breath was evidence of life. Please, Mom, keep breathing! We had an incredible year together before her final trip to the hospital.

When she collapsed in our living room, the sheer terror in her eyes was unmistakable. Stay calm until the paramedics arrive! I took control of the situation, and she safely got to the hospital.

Mom fell in and out of a coma for several days, then, suddenly, sat tall in her bed. Her eyes were kind. Peaceful. “I love you,” she said like cancer or morphine had never entered her body. After surveying the people in the room, she fell back into a coma. Moments later, mom passed away as I held her hand.

Tragedy and trauma take the wind out of our sails like few experiences in life. Any words I offer will fall short if you have recently experienced such an event. Get on a steady diet of one day or one minute at a time. Ask for help. Feel the feels. Grieve. Collapse into the full measure of your emotions over and over again. Be messy! Collapse. Let it all out. It’s ok. Healing deep wounds is a marathon that lasts years, not weeks.

Keep fighting.
Protect the wind.

Narcissistic, insecure individuals know no bounds. Such personalities trigger easily and often, which is especially problematic with creative souls. Our very nature is seen as a threat! Typically, we are terrible at kissing ass. Some strike a balance, but that’s not a trait I possess. Avoid the elephant in the room? Hell, I’ve already given it a pet name!

But what if this person is your parent, sibling, spouse, or someone in a position of power? Toxic behavior can take the wind out of your sails in an instant. Is staying silent worth the price? Independence is never free. Walking our path requires protecting our path.

Maintain strong boundaries.
Protect the wind.

Wind ignored is time thrown away. I have covered but a few wind killers. There are others. The more adept you are at protecting the wind, the more time you’ll spend sailing the Seven Seas. Argh, me hearties, a creative life for me! I’m rocking the pirate vibe, Yo!

DEEP ROOTS & FULL SAILS

The disciplines of Oneness, Presence, and Sustenance keep you rooted in a soul-led life no matter the strife. The roots remain! I cannot overstate the impact these disciplines can have daily. Nor can I overstate my total disregard for them during the first thirty-five years of my earthly existence.

Oneness anchors a deep reverence for the gift of life. Presence ensures we don’t miss anything along the way. Sustenance keeps us healthy during the ride. Our life is as sturdy as the rituals that anchor our journey. Under full sail, we are capable of incredible things. All that remains is a compelling reason. An obsession or passion that inspires us to act. Better yet, anything that inspires us to consistently take action. Always have potent reasons to persist.

Without the wind, we never begin.
Hoist the sails!

How to find our reason for being? So much clutters the mind. Attempt to impress? We’re just doing our best! But inside, where there’s no place to hide, we know the deal. We know what’s real. Either something resonates as true, or it fails to meet that standard. The more present we are with ourselves, the easier it is to make a sober determination.

No matter how chaotic life gets, we can be ever mindful of our place in the world. Our walk is a sacred walk. That's not woo-woo bullshit! You can take it to the bank. Being fully present with our pain allows us to heal our wounds. Being fully present with our joy brings more joy into our lives. Being fully present with our bodies allows us to stay healthy and vital. There will always be chaos. That's a given. But when we treasure the moments, each moment has value.

Life is a gift.
Walk with reverence.

My beloved Grams. She was one of a kind! Every few months, she would mail a note with a Garfield cartoon clipped from her local newspaper. We could talk about anything. She was my rock.

I will never forget our phone conversation after she moved into an assisted living facility. It was the final chapter of her story. The weight of that truth sparked intense fear, but she had perked up. Grams made it her mission to help newcomers when they first arrived. She overcame her fear of death by providing comfort to others. In purpose, she found peace. Grams passed away in her nineties, serving others.

What is the value of an ordinary person who lived in love? She was not wealthy or famous. And yet, the wisdom she shared sustains me to this day. Her life mattered. It was a life worthy of celebration.

I asked a dear friend, a retired minister if he would do a funeral service here in Austin? Of course, he replied. The memorial was simultaneous to the one her children held in Arizona. About twenty friends showed up, gifting flowers in memory of my beloved grandmother. It was a heartfelt celebration of her life. When the service ended, a small group of us gathered up the flower arrangements and got on a friend's boat. As we crashed through the waves of Lake Travis, I sprinkled flower petals on the water in tribute. I miss my four-foot-eight Grams.

Did a divine power call on me to do her funeral? I don’t have a clue! Regardless, I am at peace with her passing. When my soul spoke, I listened.

Keep an eye on your compass.
Is it pointed True North?

In the film Forrest Gump, there is a scene where Forrest snaps. None of this is implicitly stated. Forrest just takes off running! At first, he runs to the end of the road, but something urges him to keep moving. After traveling over 15,000 miles, Forrest finally ends his three-year sabbatical on sneakers. Apparently, he had a few things to work out. I can relate! Right?

When our soul has thoughts to share, it has a way of getting our attention. Connect with the things that are true to your core. Sometimes that takes a day. Other times, it takes 15,000 miles of running. It takes what it takes.

How to live a soul-led life? A Native American proverb offers much wisdom if we heed the call.

“Listen to the wind, it talks. Listen to
the silence, it speaks. Listen to
your heart, it knows.”

Did you listen to the right voices? Make the right choices? It’s hard to believe in things invisible to the naked eye. It’s hard to have faith that you’re headed the right way. But when you know something is real and true, there are things to do. Trails to blaze! Autopilot off. Rise above the haze. Rush less. Hear more. Be fully present. Protect the wind. Sail the seven seas. Live a soul-fed life.

Big hugs & much respect,
Bobby Ford

PS: Links to all four essays can be found at the bottom of this post.

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Aloha! I’m Bobby Ford.

Beyond my work as a writer and in the arts, I also offer a 1ON1 experience that you can collapse into as a human being. A refuge we co-create and that meets you where you live — personally, creatively, and as a business.

Click HERE to access the links below:

• Your Deeply Human 1ON1 Refuge ➜ Work With Me

• My Podcast ➜ Creative Minds Like Us

• Essay Series ➜ Four Life Lessons

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